Keep it down or I'll give you a smack!

Saturday, September 23, 2006

16 Minutes Round Trip

Quick thoughs from today...

Very nice effort today by ABC to report that Joe Pa had to leave the field for a shitbreak! You feel bad for the guy that he is 79 years old and can't take a dump without millions of people knowing about it.

I just hung out around the house today watching football and golf. So as I was flipping channels and surfing the net I found a couple of funny things that I felt the need to share.

Mo Clarett has a new website.

Nationals fans are having "fun"in the upperdeck. I know this guy that went to Baltimore and had some fun once too.

Listen to this report about Johnny Damon and his DNA.

Nice of the US Ryder cup team to show up today. Unless they have a nother miracle like they did in 1999 you can keep the cup in Europe. I watched the coverage that started today at 8am but it was hell to try and avoid all of the scrolling scores on ABC and ESPN during the football games today.

Glad to see the Buckeyes squeak out the win today. Next week scares the crap out of me though. Not that Iowa is that good, but it's just that classic trap game.

Tailgate starts at 10am tomorrow. Everybody is welcome to join us!

Go Browns!

Maybe we'll kick some figgies tomorrow...Check out my form!

Friday, September 22, 2006

Ray Lewis is a Bitch!

After looking at a bunch of mediocre college games on the schedule, this weeks NFL match ups are much more intriguing. Should be good watching on Sunday. Except for me because the Brownies are kicking off at 4:15 and we will, of course, be tailgating. Any way I had a pretty good week going 10-6 and getting back into black numbers for the season.

Here are this week’s selections:

BILLS -6 vs. Jets - Bills defense has looked good over the first couple of weeks

STEELERS vs. Bengals +2 - Can Big Ben get it rolling? Not this week. I think Palmer will be playing pitch and catch all over the field.

COLTS –7 vs Jaguars - Winner will be sitting pretty in the drivers seat of the AFC South. I think the short week may hurt the Jags.

DOLPHINS –11 vs Titans - Kerry Collins and Daunte Culpepper. Who can make fewer mistakes? I like the fish.

Redskins –4 at TEXANS - Nice break for the Redskins. They need a win. Luckily the schedule makers gave them this gift.

Bears –3 ½ at VIKINGS - Who is for real here? I like the Bears Defense to shut down Brad Johnson.

Panthers –3 at BUCCANEERS - Somebody has to win this one. Everybody's Superbowl choice should step up and get their first win.

Lions at PACKERS +6 ½ - U-L-G-Y Brett Favre of yesteryear may get himself on track this week.

Ravens –6 ½ at BROWNS - As much as I want to go Homer, I think the Ravens are the smart choice. But who have they beaten? We'll see.

CARDINALS –5 vs Rams - Arizona didn't look so hot last week, but neither did the Rams. Arizona has never lost in their new stadium. Take the Cards!

SEAHAWKS –3 ½ vs Giants - Alexander the Great hasn't been just yet. This was a great game last year. Could come down to the kickers again this year.

Eagles –6 at 49ERS - San Fran got their monthly win last week. Fly like an Eagle this week.

PATRIOTS vs Broncos +6 ½ - I keep reading that Brady has trouble with Denver. And the line has dropped throughout the week. I'm going to look back and shake my head at this one later. Come on Jake the Snake!

Falcons – 4 at SAINTS - Welcome back to the NFL New Orleans! Ok after beating a couple of bad teams (CLE & GB) Ron Mexico is going to run it up on you Monday night.

Last Week 10-6
YTD 17-15
Check out the time and effort this guy put into this weeks picks. Week 3-Tecmo Bowl Style.

Slán go fóill

Thursday, September 21, 2006

How did Bodden do, guys?

Somebody posted Chad Johnson's very brief post game interview on You Tube. Still reeling from the hit from Brian Russell.

Friday picks tomorrow!

Ryder Cup 2006 - Irish Style

Because this week’s college football looks like it could be pretty boring I am glad that there is another marquee event happening. It’s time for the 2006 Ryder Cup. As a golf fan that watches way too much of it on TV, I wanted to throw a little love it’s way and take a look at some of the upcoming action. Maybe I’ll go out on a limb and even make a prediction or two.

First of all I like the fact that you take an individual sport and make it become a team sport and have some of the world’s best golfers in match play. I like watching them make decisions that you would not normally see during stroke play tournaments. It’s different so it intrigues me.

I like watching how the fans get into it as opposed to a regular tour event. A lot more spirited cheering and heckling goes on. Too bad it’s in Ireland or we’d get to see the “Ugly Americans” giving the business to Colin Montgomerie.

Mrs. Woods

More and more camera time for Elin/Amy/Tabitha/Hot wives. Like that is ever a bad thing. By the way what a bunch of crap out “The Dubliner” to put that alleged story about Mrs. Woods. I think everybody in the free world has seen pictures that were claiming to be Tiger’s wife. We have all looked very, very, very closely at those pictures and found that they are real. I hope that this light some sort of fire under Tiger and he shoots out of his mind this week. I would then give him permission to use the copyrighted phrase, “Take That Buehner!” so that it can catch on worldwide.

Hello, Mrs. Furyk

I like the team uniforms. I know it’s dumb to say but as a guy who looks at the trademarks and labels I enjoy the team shirts, hats, umbrellas, and golf bags that all match. Gay, I know. (Think the US will wear red on Sunday? I’d lay some action on it.)

Let's take a look at the teams:
USA has the top 3 players in the World Rankings on their side in Tiger, Furyk and Phil. But those guys have all been on the team for the last 4 Ryder cups and America is 1-3. So while it looks great on paper, it doesn’t make the Euros put the cup down and bow to them. They still have to play the matches.

USA has Four Ryder Cup rookies on this years’ team while Europe has two. How will the young hot shots, Zach Johnson, Vaughn Taylor, JJ Henry and Bret Wetterich perform on foreign soil? Will the pressure get to them or can the hold their nerves together and come out shooting?

How will Captain Tom Lyman handle the “stars” on his team? Will he try and pair Phil and Tiger together? I think everybody would love to see that but when they have played together in the past they haven’t look so great. Maybe it’s just a matter of they don’t like each other and never will, and it shows in their play. I think there is a formula that has to go into figuring out your pairings. Personalities have to blend together. You need people who even each other out sometimes. And don’t forget about the caddies. They have to be on the same page as well. Knowing what your players can and cannot do always helps.

Why do the European players do so well in this format? Spaniards Sergio Garcia and Jose Maria Olazabal are paired together on Friday morning. They have been a nice pairing in years past and I’m sure they will play together more than once this week. Monty always seems to find an extra gear when the Ryder Cup is on the line. Maybe the Europeans just have a little more pride in the event than Americans. Sort of the same way that USA feels about soccer. We can take it or leave it. We’ll just move along to the next made for TV event.

The Friday morning pairings were released today. My quick thoughts:

Tiger Woods/Jim Furyk vs. Colin Montgomerie/ Padraig Harrington
I like this pair for the US. I think Furyk has been playing well and again I hope Tiger has a fire in his belly for this event. Could be big to see the US come out of the gates firing.

Paul Casey/Robert Karlsson vs. Stewart Cink/JJ Henry
I’m not real excited about the US team on this one. Casey won a huge event last week in the match play event.

Sergio Garcia/ Jose Maria Olazabal vs. David Toms/ Brett Wetterich
Interesting pairing for the US. Toms can be the veteran, calming influence. But I love the team of Serge and Olly.

Phil Mickelson/Chris DiMarco vs. Darren Clarke/Lee Westwood
Might be a sneaky match up for Europe. Is Darren Clarke ready to play? Or will the powerful US team come out and prove they are as good as advertised.

Now is the time that I need to look at all my ramblings and go out on a limb and make my pick. As much golf as I watch I think I have a pretty good feel for the pulse of this event. It just comes down to the fact that USA golfers don’t do well in these team events. They were blown out of the water 2 years ago on their home turf. Weather could be bad for a good portion of this event. Maybe we can find some mudders. But I don’t see it happening.

Europe retains the Cup 15 ½ - 12½

Not quite "Shakedown Saturday"

Holy crap are there a lot of points out there. I was thinking that I wanted to make a few college football selections today. I pulled up the gambling lines for the top 10 teams in the nation. The point spreads for the top 10 teams average 23 points! Have no fear underdog is here! But what the hell, I’ll give it a shot and see what happens:

(Home team in caps)
OSU –17 vs. Penn St. – I'm taking the points here. Again I think Sweater Vest keeps it tight with conservative play calling.

AUBURN –43 vs. Buffalo – 43??? Can the Bulls put up 2 TD’s for me? I’m gonna take a shot a go with the points here. Dumb pick but I’m going to give it a shot.

USC – 21 vs. Arizona – No more hang loose signs for Booty. Now he just gives his WR the finger. Fight On!

WVU –21 vs. East Carolina - It’s time to light some couches, Morgantown

FLORIDA –23 ½ vs. Kentucky – Maybe they can play hoops in the second half to give Kentucky a chance.

MICHIGAN –14 vs. Wisconsin – Michigan has a lot of momentum after the big win last week. Mike Hart will keep on running and the Michigan Defense shuts downs Whisky.

No analysis needed – Just picks:
GEORGIA –26 ½ vs. Colorado
TEXAS –24 vs. Iowa St.
Louisville –14 at KANSAS ST.

VA TECH –27 vs. Cincinnati

I came across this link the other day while I was doing some “research.” This guy said he was going to C-Bus this week for College Gameday and wanted some advice for a dumb sign to hold up in the background. Some of the suggestions are pretty creative.

*added - Found a new drinking game online as well. The College Gameday Drinking game. If you liked the Brent Musburger game you will love this one . See the rules here.


Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Week 2 NFL Thoughts

I am trying to figure out this Cleveland Browns team. It’s so frustrating to be a fan and heading into the new season and think, "Hey it’s a new year…maybe they can sneak up on some teams this year…This offense has some weapons, maybe they will be fun to watch this year." And then, after two weeks, the record is 0-2. The offense is non-existent. Not really sure what is happening on defense. Dumb mistakes being made by some of the younger players. And then the icing on the cake comes yesterday.

I will say that I am a little biased because I think if I had to pick one player and deem him to be "My Favorite Player of 2006" it has got to be Kellen Winslow. He has probably been the best player on the Browns through 2 weeks of football. Now the other side to that is, that’s not saying very much.

His stats through 2 games: 12 catches -105 yards - 1 TD

Not necessarily earth shattering stuff just yet. But then we had "The interview" yesterday. K2 came out and said he should be on the field on third downs. That they have nothing to lose. Now we all have heard young "soldier" Winslow before talking to the media, and we all know the story of motorcycles and Kellen. But I have to agree with him on this one.

As somebody who was at the home opener, watching #80 most of the time he was on the field, he has a point. He can out run linebackers and he can out physical the defensive backs. The guy can get open more than he gets covered. So you know what? I’m on his side with this one. Now with that being said, maybe this isn’t the way to go about it. That is where the problem lies. Romeo seems like a guy who can talk to and relate his players pretty well. This kind of subject does not need to be discussed in the papers or on TV. Handle your business "in house." That is where the youngster probably made a mistake. But he is young and he will learn. I guess I am just hoping that he will be on the field and making those plays that he said he could make. Right now it’s not much fun to go down there and walk out of the stadium angry every week. Where’s the fun in that?


I was pretty disappointed in Chad Johnson last Sunday. The Chicken Dance? That Sucked! Give me something more original than that!

You know I’m glad that Brian Russell cleaned your clock. Actually that should have been more directed at the Bengals. Why are throwing the ball when you are up 24 points with two minutes left in the game? Run the ball. Punt the ball. Finish the game off right.


You are killing my fantasy team! Actually my poor coaching has not helped either. I have been shitty through the first 2 weeks. I am not playing the right guys. I had Laveranues Coles on my bench for the first two weeks and he is second in scoring at the WR position. Eli Manning has been solid but off course his ass hurts from sitting on my bench as well. So this week I am going Costanza on your ass. Pick my lineup and the go opposite on every reasonable thought. That should work out well for me.


You know who is coming to Cleveland on Sunday? Ray Ray and the boys.
Crabcakes and Football. That's what Maryland does!


Monday, September 18, 2006

I hate that guy!

I think this is the guy that can be blamed for the start of this. Mike McKenzie has had this hair style for quite sometime. Actually I wonder when the last time he got a haircut even was (OK I tried to find out the answer but I couldn't get one). I used to think that it was kind of a cool look for the NFL guys but I think that it is going a little too far.

But that brings me to the topic of this post. I freaking hate Troy Polamalu. I wish that somebody would take him and throw him to the ground by his mangy hair. It just drives me crazy. Why? Who the hell knows? But it really does. I think the thing that drives me crazy is that I know that Monday Night Football will show him about 1,000 times tonight and say what a wonderful player he is. All of this may be true but I will be too busy scratching my own eyes out to notice whether or not any of this is even true. So I just wanted to let anybody who took the time to know who I really feel about it.

Maybe I am just mad because my head looks like this:

OK...I'm going to go watch MNF with a bald guy, another balding guy and Joe Theisman.

Get a haircut you hippie!

Back on track...

I am feeling a little better about my picks after this weekend. I didn’t go apeshit and win them all but I am guaranteed to finish above .500 for the week. So I can come off the ledge and relax a little bit.

The college picks were so-so this weekend as I went 4-3-1. Ohio State hit a 52-yard FG with just over a minute to go to push the 30-point cushion. Two of my other losses were by a combined 3.5 points. I was pleased with my choices. Of course if I really were gambling I would have gone 0-8. But that’s a given.

A small weekend update –
Friday I came home and decided that I need to get a new phone. I had been looking online to see what kinds of deals were available. I have been with Sprint for the last couple of years and they offer all kinds of rebates and bonuses when you reach certain service time with them. I drove over to the local Sprint store and nosed around looking for my next phone. I usually hate buying stuff like this because I feel like I should be more edumacated when it comes to these things. But I got a crash course as one of the tech nerds was explaining the different features to another customer. I tell you that I was surprised that nobody rushed over to help me faster. Usually they are all over you when you walk into one of those stores but I had to flag somebody down and let them know that I was willing to make a purchase. Since I had heard the earlier explanations I basically said to the guy, “I want to upgrade my phone. And I’ll take that one.”

He looked up all my information and asked me a few of the standard questions about my usage. After staring at his computer screen for a while and making it look like he knew what he was doing he told me that if I tweaked my plan I could save about $10 and get a few more perks with a new plan. I now get the 7pm start time for my nights, which I guess is pretty cool. And I think that I upped my minutes as well. Not that I ever used what I previously had anyway.

I got the cool new Samsung A-640, does that turn you on? It’s small, it’s light, has a camera. So I’m pimping a new phone. Big freaking deal but that’s what I did on Friday night. And then I had the fun of transferring my numbers from my old phone. The kid told me that their tech that could do that was off already for the evening but he would be back on Saturday. I figured that I could do it myself on Friday night. Looking back I should have probably just got back in the car and gone to have the kid do it for me. It was a pain in the ass to switch them all. But I got through it just fine.

Saturday I bummed around the house for the better part of the day just surfing the net and watching college football. The Buckeyes game was pretty much a snoozer. But I flipped around from game to game to kill off the afternoon until the real games started at 3:30.

I had made plans to go and see the Indians on Saturday night with the Krause Boys. Ron came and picked me up in the late afternoon and we watched the ND/Mich and LSU/Auburn games as we waited for Howie to get done coaching his baseball team.
The only reason that we even made the effort to go the Indians game was that Howie had club seats from his company, so we went for the free food. We made our way downtown and get there sometime about the second inning. It’s was 80’s night at the Jake. If only we had known. We might have had to break out some parachute pants and dressed the part. The game wasn’t much to speak of as the Tribe failed to show up and walked through a 4-1 loss to the Twins. Again, we didn’t really show much interest in the game. We did a nice job of eating some burgers, jambalaya, ice cream, and peanuts and of course a few beers.

After the game we stopped at Hairy Buffalo for a drink or two while we waited for the traffic to die down. We watched a little of the late college football games while we sat and watched the garage empty out. After that we decided it was time to go and see some naked ladies, so we made our way to the Diamond Club to see what they had to offer. The talent level was so-so in my opinion. But we fought through it and hung there until 2:00 in the morning before heading home and calling it a night.

Sunday morning I had one of those moments where I woke up and looked at the clock and threw a couple seconds of panic. The clock read 7:20 and I had to think about it for a second before realizing that it was Sunday. I had set my alarm for 7:45 anyways so I rolled over and tried to get those last few precious moments of sleep before I really had to get out of bed.

Ron picked me up a little after 8 and we stopped off at Pieman for a cup of coffee before heading out to the course. We had been invited to play at Quail Hollow Country Club by a friend, Bruce who plays at LSNP in my weekly Thursday league. I had never played there before so I was looking forward to see what the country club life was all about. We rolled up and told the lady behind the desk that we were playing with Mr. Behr and she told us that everything was taken care of and he was already out on the range. So we loaded up our clubs and made it over to the range to meet up with Bruce and his son Justin.

It was a beautiful morning for golf. It was nice and sunny and the temperature was just about perfect. So we had a nice relaxing day of golf at the country club. There weren’t too many people out on the course so it all moved along smoothly. I played pretty well on the front side shooting a 38. Once we hit around the 11th or 12th hole I could feel myself sort of hitting a little wall. The lack of sleep from the night before might have been catching up with me. I just played OK for the backside until we reached the 18th hole. I hit my drive to the right and it hit a tree and I probably lost 40 or 50 yards off my drive. So I then tried to make up for it and pulled my second shot out of bounds. It didn’t get any better from there. So I didn’t finish very well for the day. Overall we had a nice morning on the course and it was only 1:30 so we were going to be able to see plenty of the Browns game. We went back to Ron’s to eat some of the spaghetti that Liz had cooked. After eating and watching a little of the Browns getting killed I was ready for a nap. Ron dropped me off at home at halftime of the game. I spent the rest of the day watching some football, golf and the insides of my eyelids. It was a nice lazy afternoon of needed rest.

Pretty much nothing special planned for this week. So we shall see what happens. Browns play at home next Sunday against the Baltimorons. But that’s about it.