Keep it down or I'll give you a smack!

Saturday, December 02, 2006

Yo, Adrian!

When I first heard that they were making another Rocky movie, my only thought was "WHY?" What for? As we all know, it is all about the Benjamins. So tee up another Rocky movie. Wasn't the first one made 30 years ago? How old is Stallone? Can he get in that kind of shape? Then I stumbled across this photo on SI:

(click on Sly to see the full effect)

Good God, Sly. I had to look him up on IMDB. Sixty years old. Me thinks it's time that he quits with the Rocky series. I have had enough. The absolute kicker was the finding the next sequel movie he's making. Rambo IV: In the Serpents Eye...John Rambo is coming back...In theaters 2008 folks! Ugh.

Time for some NFL picks:

Vikings @ Bears -9 ½
Look for the Bears D to shut out the Vikings tomorrow. Sexy Rexy will bounce back and have a nice week.

Buccaneers @ Steelers -7
I wonder if Big Ben is fully recovered from last week’s beat down. I hope so because I like the Steelers at home.

Cardinals @ Rams – 6 ½
Too much Steven Jackson for the Cardinals.

Colts @ Titans +7
Rumor mill has the Titans wearing all powder blue tomorrow. I can’t wait to see it. I like the Titans to keep it close.

Jaguars @ Dolphins -1
Too much teal/sea green in this game. I think the Jags good defense shows up and shouts down the all powerful Joey Harrington.

49ers @ Saints -7
Upset of the week. Niners go in the Superdome and sneak one out.

Falcons @ Redskins +1 ½
Time for Ron Mexico to get some things right.

Chiefs @ Browns +5 ½
I plead the fifth or sixth or seventh. (we all know that they will win tomorrow right? Just wanted to make sure we were on the same page)

Lions @ Patriots -13 ½
Brady throws for 300-4TDS

Chargers @ Bills +6
I has upset potential but I think too much LDT

Jets @ Packers +1
I’m taking Favre at home with a point

Cowboys @ Giants +3 ½
Have you caught Romonia yet? Everybody else has. I wonder if he’s getting down with Jessica Simpson.

Texans @ Raiders -3
The Raiders are favored? I thought they have a traitor in the locker room somewhere.

Seahawks @ Broncos -3 ½
I don’t like this matchup for the rookie QB making his first start. Plus I think the Seahawks just remembered that they played in last years Super Bowl. So they are getting healthy at the right time.

Panthers @ Eagles +3
Kind of like the Jags, I think the Panthers good team will show up and take down the Iggles.

How bout them Cowboy Cheeleaders!!!

Hasta la bye bye!

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Thanks Time Warner!

I don't get the NFL Network on my cable system so I am one of the many people that can not watch tonight's game unless I go to a bar that has it. What a bunch of crap. And yet these girls are at Browns stadium each week.

Tonight's pick is Cincinati -3 over the Ravens

What is a Browns fan to do?

I subscribe to a newsletter that is published by Pat McManamon of the Akron Beacon Journal. He does a pretty good job giving a regular guy perspective on my favorite football squad. Anyway, I got this e-mail this morning and I just felt that a lot of the opinions were similar to mine so I felt I would share it.


First and 10
Browns are sucking the joy out of Sundays
By Pat McManamon

Dear Readers,
This is the First and 10 I wanted to write this week, exactly as I planned to write it:
1) The Browns sucked last year.
2) And the year before that.
3) And the year before that.
4) They weren't supposed to suck too bad this season.
5) Well they were supposed to kinda suck, but not too terribly. Just kinda .500 suckiness.
6) Now after Sunday they REALLY suck.
7) They suck the life right out of you.
8) They suck the oxygen out of the stadium.
9) They suck the smile off the Mona Lisa, the Eiffel out of the Tower and the Tower out of London. Heck, they suck the rock out of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, and they're forcing the management there to call it the Roll Hall of Fame, which is really preposterous.
10) The Browns just ... well ... they just aren't a very good team right now. And based on experience since 1999, they won't be a very good team until ...

OK, none of that is really nice, so I'm junking that First and 10.

Instead, we'll do it this way ...

1) I think it's time for Browns fans to move to Baltimore.
2) I mean ... I'm out of words. The one thing Braylon Edwards said this week that I agree with is that there was supposed to be no repeat of that 41-0 loss to Pittsburgh last season. There were only three differences between Sunday's game against Cincinnati and the one against Pittsburgh: 1) This game was not on Christmas Eve; 2) Cincinnati didn't score 41 only because it lost interest; 3) It was the Bengals and not the Steelers. Other than that, the effort, the performance, the results were pretty much the same.
3) Guess there's something to be said for consistency?
4) At some point all the talk has to end and results have to appear. For the fans to put up with the garbage they've seen the past eight years is just too much. All the talk about this guy, that guy, that draft pick, that signing ... and all the talk by that guy, this guy ... well, at this point in a 3-8 season, it's nothing more than talk. It's past time for the Browns to just win some stinking games. To play and act like a team with a firm hand in control and a vision for the future. It may be in place, but it's sure not visible. The results are not present either. I'd say it's getting old, but it's really getting more like Methuselah. This is beyond old.
5) As for Braylon Edwards ... geez ... what is a person supposed to say? I have no great insights. Except that it would be nice if guys in this day and age just played the game and quit worrying about their image and ... well I guess I could also expect the sky to suddenly fill with sugar-plum fairies, too, couldn't I?
6) I will say this for Braylon Edwards: I hope he realizes his mistake. It's good that he cares, but a player simply cannot embarrass his teammates. Last week, he did it twice, first when he questioned Brian Russell's hit on Chad Johnson, then Sunday on the sidelines. Just can't do that. Especially when you've A) disrespected the cornerbacks on a good Carolina team, B) dropped key passes at key times, C) chartered a helicopter to fly to Columbus to watch Michigan play Ohio State when your teammates advised against doing so, D) jogged your way through one of the most important plays of the Pittsburgh game, E) produced your own absolutely absurd TV show that is basically all about yourself, and F) during the first few episodes of that show, included a segment criticizing the Browns for the way they negotiated your multi-million dollar contract and showed how angry you were when Miami didn't draft you and how disinterested you were when Cleveland called to say it was drafting you. Put all those things on one side of the ledger, and you don't exactly get the picture of a take-one-for-the-team player. This is why Edwards can't do what he did on the sidelines. A guy like Greg Lloyd used to do it all the time. So do other players. But the difference between them and Edwards is ... THEY DID SOMETHING ON THE FIELD FIRST.
7) All these things are not endearing Edwards to his teammates. A long time ago, when Ryan Leaf played for the Chargers, Junior Seau did a conference call with us media losers and the question was asked: How does a young player earn the respect of his veteran teammates? Seau did not hesitate. He said there's only one way, and that's by feeding the families of your teammates on Sunday. That's a fancy way of saying: Show up on Sunday and help the team win. See, guys will put up with a lot from a teammate if he's performing on Sunday. I remember one guy telling me of a Browns teammate a few years back: "He's full of it but he shows up on Sunday.'' A guy who doesn't show up on Sunday, who talks the talk but isn't there Sunday ... well that act wears thin. And until Edwards shows up regularly on Sunday, the TV shows and everything else won't go over real well.
8) In some regards, you can cut Edwards a little slack for his outburst -- especially since he seemed a bit remorseful the next day (though he did show up on a Monday in a natty suit, perhaps because he expected the cameras to be on him). But the one thing that hasn't been talked or written about much is that Edwards also got into verbal spats with some fans, who were on him the whole game. Instead of ignoring them, which by many measures is the professional way to do things, Edwards yelled back. By most any measure, this is silly. On the road it's silly because it's inciting goofs. At home, it's just sillier because these are the home fans. Yes, they are win-starved, long-suffering, lonely, miserable, caustic, unhappy, runny-nosed, depressed and sick-of-it fans. But they are still the hometown fans, and they still pay for tickets. And they don't deserve to get yelled at by a player. Period.
9) A wise old NFL guy once said that players play for fame first, money second and championships third. That is they want to be famous first. Once they get fame, they want the big contract. Then when they realize neither of those things really matter, they start to play for championships. Now, the common wisdom would say that anyone who gets championships first would get fame and money after. But this is the modern day, when receivers who have yet to get double-digit touchdown receptions in a year produce their own TV shows. So apparently we all should just get used to it.
10) Romeo Crennel apparently bad-mouthed the team in the locker room after the game. Told the quitters to get out. Berated them. Kind of lost it, from what I'm told. So for those who think that needed jolt of emotion from the head coach will change things, there it is. I figure it'll change things as much as changing offensive coordinators changed things. I mean, when you got what you got and you play with the effort the Browns showed against Cincinnati ... well ... it might be time to root for Austin Villa, who if first cousin to Austin Powers, who is, of course, the son of The Powers That Be. See what the Browns drive a person to do?

3 and Out
Before the letters, let me just say that we all lost a friend in Casey Coleman this week. Casey was a good man, a good friend and a good example. Coleman was a large part of the Cleveland sports scene and he will be missed a great, great deal.


The letters were painful enough after the Pittsburgh loss. Here's three following Sunday's loss to the Bengals:
Dear Pat,Lost in the 30-0 drubbing was an incident before halftime that has convinced me that my years of Sunday blind devotion in the Browns is foolishly placed.
I have been assured that the coaching staff is on top of everything, and as soon as they amass more talent the Browns will win. After watching the last 1:30 of the first half, I am greatly concerned the coaches are not competent.
Specifically, the Bengals failed on third down with 1:30 to go. I'm a fat, dumb guy in a bar in Florida, and I know a timeout is needed by the Browns to save as much time as possible for the offense to score before halftime. The Browns coaches decided to let the clock run while the Bengals attempted and successfully made a field goal.
I assumed the reason they did not take either of their remaining two timeouts was the coaches decided to kneel on the ball to end a horrible half. I nearly fell off my stool when Charlie Frye lined up in shotgun on the first play, trying to move the offense with the remaining 45 seconds in the half. The Browns managed to reach midfield, where a desperate "Hail Mary'' ended the half.
Most would agree 30 more seconds would have been quite beneficial in that situation.
I watch Browns games under the assumption that I know 1/100th about football than the coaches. Therefore, I assume the coaches must have an explanation for what I perceive to be a gross lack of clock management.
My faith in the organization was shattered. I walk out of the game at halftime, and I don't plan on returning until an explanation is provided for this oversight.
How much more is wrong that we don't know about?

Dave Horton
Naples, Fla.

Dear Dave,I love your letter, if only because you admit you are a fat, dumb guy in a bar in Florida.
That fits the First and 10 mode.
I'm a dumb, pasty guy at a typewriter in Ohio and I have no explanation for that lack of clock management.
And I hear your anger turning to apathy, which is the things the Browns should fear most.


Dear Pat,Is Braylon Edwards turning into another TO? Only not as good?
Luis Till
Tempe, Ariz.

Dear Luis,Just what we need. An intelligent, perceptive guy in Arizona.


Pat:Can't believe I did it.
I was finally so fed up with the Browns that I turned off the telly at halftime and went bowling. Plan to do something other than watch this continuing foolishness next week too. And the week after.
Tough call for me. I was there for the '64 championship game.
It's not that I'm angry. Worse. I don't care anymore.
What a bummer.

Fred Endres
Kent, Ohio

Dear Fred,Telly? Bowling?
No matter, as I said already: Apathy is creeping in, and that's worse than anger.Thanks to all,

© 2006 Beacon Journal and wire service sources. All Rights Reserved.http://www.ohio.com

Matt brought this post to my attention this morning so i will add this comedic piece to this post.
Kissing Suzy Kolber

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Like sands through the hourglass

After being away from work for the last six days, I finally made a triumphant return today. Work has been pretty tame lately when I am here in the office. We are going through this transition where we are getting things in order to make a customer service transition on January 2nd. So we have been preparing things and making sure we have all of our policies and procedures in line for our go-live date. Luckily we had some good soap opera action today to keep us all entertained.

You know how it is in an office when you see a girl and a guy that spend a lot of time together? He is always at her cube and vice versa. They are always going to lunch together. They are always seen together at work functions. The kicker is that she has a boyfriend and everybody is aware of that. We all can see that the guy is most likely wasting his time, unless something sneaky is going on “behind somebody’s back.” Unfortunately that isn't the case here.

Today we heard that she broke up with the boyfriend. That should open up the door for our friend who has been putting in so much time. But word on the 6th floor is that she has a date tonight with a new man in town. Another guy here apparently saw her out at a bar and they talked. I even heard some hokey story about “their eyes meeting across the bar and they made a connection,” which brought a tear to my eye. They are supposedly going out tonight.

Meanwhile, he (new guy) has been making various attempts at ALL of the young single girls on our floor. And he has been trying to run his game hard. I guess it may have finally worked on somebody.

The gossip birds are all over the story and hopefully we can get an update after they go out. Sometimes it really pays to come to work in the morning. You never know what you may see.

These are the Days of our Lives.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Turkey Weekend Tales

I promised to tell the tales of what I have done over the last week. So here it goes:

After busting out of work early Murph and I made our way over to Flannery’s for a few drinks. Ron met us there. A bunch of folks that I work with also made the trip over. So we hung out there for a couple hours and several drinks before deciding to move along. Ron, Murph, Sarah, Jenne and I made our way down to The Harbor Inn. It was pretty crowded for the Harbor. After a couple of drinks there we made the move to the Village in Lakewood. When we got to the Village I had a couple of more beers but I was just messed up. I was pounding Blue Moon and Christmas Ale so I was done. We booked out of there around 11:00 and made our way home.

Getting home relatively early was an added bonus since we were golfing on Thanksgiving morning in Avon. Being an Eastsider, I had to get my ass out of bed and moving to make it on time. I popped a CD in and hit the highway. It’s great driving on a Holiday morning. It was bright and sunny and nobody was on the road. I stopped at Dunkin Donuts and got a hot cup of Joe for the ride. I made it there in about 40 minutes and was ready to go. The bad news was that the course had a layer of frost on it so we had time to kill before we could tee off. We sat around the club house and tossed back a few morning beers before getting out on the course. It was a beautiful day for it though. My group consisted of Fyffe, Pat Carney and his buddy Coop. We had a blast golfing, drinking and laughing. We played OK. None of us had played in a couple of months so we didn’t expect too much. But we did have a lot of fun. After golf we hung out in the clubhouse and had a couple more drinks before calling it a day and heading home for turkey dinner.

I got home in time to catch the last half of dinner with my family. Nothing to special to talk about, I just gobbled up my meal and wanted to lie down and watch football. And that is exactly what I did. My lazy butt didn’t move for the rest of the day. I watched football and dozed on and off all night. I even missed going to Howie’s place to play cards. I felt bad about it. I was just lazy and comfy at home and didn’t feel like leaving the house. So I stayed in and watched TV all night like the lazy ass that I am.

It really was another day of not much happening for Ricky on Friday. I hung out and did some junk around the house for most of the day. My biggest mission that I got accomplished was washing a huge pile of laundry that had accumulated in my room. Ron called and let me know that they were going to play some cards on Friday night at his place. I guess I didn’t miss the game after all. So I went over there and we played some cards. It’s always a good time when we play cards laughing at our own dumb jokes and comments. We hung out and played cards till about 1 in the morning.

Another lazy day for me. I am seeing a pattern here. But it was gorgeous outside for November in Cleveland. I helped my dad do some things around the house and in the yard. Nothing exciting to report on. Ron had asked me to go out to a party on the West side but I just wasn’t feeling it. It was going to be a couple’s party so I told him that I was going to pass. I had to get my rest for Sunday.

I woke up bright and early for tailgating for the Browns game. I was up and downtown by 8:45am and met up with Murph and Matt. An added bonus was that it was Murph’s b-day. Again it was a beautiful November day. We had sunny and mid 50’s. It was quite a nice change from the previous week against the Steelers. We had a small crowd but it was still a good day for it. Murph dropped a nice surprise on us when he turned up club seats for the game. We had a nice upgrade over our usual dog pound seats. Unfortunately, the Browns decided not to show up and were soundly spanked by the Bengals 30-0. We left in the beginning of the 4th quarter and headed back to the tailgate for a couple more beers. When we got back we tossed around the idea of heading over to see what the talent level at the DMC looked like. Since it was Murph’s birthday it was the least we could do. We hung out there for a couple of hours and threw some dances at the birthday boy. After that I came home and crashed while watching Sunday night football. Good Times!

I had a couple more vacations days that I have to use before the end of the year so I decided to take off Monday and Tuesday of this week. I figured it would be a nice way to make my Thanksgiving holiday even longer. And with the traveling that I still have to do until the end of the year I had to use them sometime. I went and ran a few errands but it really wasn’t much to speak of.

And today is going to be much of the same. My mom asked if I could watch my nephew for a little bit today, but I don’t have much else planned. Damn I’m a lazy S.O.B. It’s fun though!

So there you have it. We’re all caught up.
Talk to you later!

Monday, November 27, 2006

Photo Shop

I thought we would have a little picture fun today...

Ron Mexico loves to tell his fans they are nuber one!
LBJ and the Cavs rockin some sweet throwbacks last week.

The Browns followed suit. Too bad they forgot to show up for the game on Sunday.
Toast with Jesus!
I love equations that make you laugh.
Yeah they do!
Charger fans aren't too bad either (except for the bad armband tattoo, not that you would notice though).
A weekend update is coming. Probably have it up tomorrow.